Chai

So yesterday…I was all depressed and stupid.  I maintain it was the aliens, but whatever. Today I was moving on.  Getting ready for a new plan of action with my daughter’s education.  Still sad, but oh WELL!  Enough already, right?

 I even called the school, twice, to find out what the chances were that she’d get in later…but I couldn’t get thru.  Again, oh well.  Next step, right?

Then they called me back, and I figured it was in regards to my calls to them.  Nope.  THEY CALLED TO TELL ME SHE GOT IN!!   

 So all that depression WASTED!  Not that it’s really any other way, but seriously, what a waste of time, eh??  I’M SO HAPPY!!  I was going to “console” myself today, and was really battling it, mostly with coffee I’ll be honest!, but still food was very difficult to resist!

BUT NOT ANYMORE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I don’t care if I ever eat again, this is so freaking fabulous!!!  This school ROCKS!!  They do a second langugage, musical instruments, both as a major part of the education…and the classes are only 18 kids…on a rotational basis, so there’s times when there’s only 10 kids in the class!  How awesome is THAT??  They start life learning in kindergarten too, so they do cooking and field trips to fun places…..

This is the school of my DREAMS!  Brynnah’s gonna learn to play FLUTE!!  (I figured that would be less likely to drive me to bedlam than the violin…lol!)  This is the best education I could possibly give her…and it’s so amazing it’s actually happening!!

 ANYWAY!!!  I’m flying so high here I just had to share!!

 Thank you ALL for your support and I hope you have an AMAZING day!!!!  I know I will!!

I have evicted the aliens.  I am now in charge of my own body once again!!  Three cheers everyone!!!

So no more sad, poor little me!  I’m back baby!!  I have a new plan of action, and the will to implement it!!  (and I also have a new policy with my job that if you swear at me, it’s open game baby!!  I will bring it right back at’cha!! Muw-hahahahah!)

I’m happy, excited, making plans…yes honey, that’s right, the lists of doom are back! (I create lists, things to get done, what order to do them…it scares my husband.  He hides. ;-)  ) 

Anyway!!  Here’s to evacuating all the aliens from the planet of depression from our bodies, and having a joyful, happy life without them!!  :)  If you need help, I find chugging 15 cups of coffee and dancing an Irish jig in front of a mirror always seems to help this process along. 

Hope everyone has a SPECTACULAR Thursday…it’s the only way to be, baby!!  Work hard, be happy, live healthy!

Just a disclaimer…this is not me.  Aliens have taken over my body and are controlling me.  At least, that’s what I’m telling myself so I don’t have to feel bad.  Normally, I’m upbeat, cheerful and optimistic.  Normally, when TOM comes to town, no matter how hard he tries I don’t let him effect my emotions.  Normally, I remain in control because I don’t like using that as an excuse to behave badly. 

However, today has been a very very hard day for me.  I’m not sure if it’s more difficult because I’ve recently gone of BC or what…but MAN is it rough!  Hormonal rollercoaster! A whole bunch of things happened on the same day and I’m having problems finding the energy to deal with them as I usually do.  Normally, when something happens, or doesn’t go according to plan, I simply accept it, move on, and start planning on another course of action.

But today, I can’t seem to get there.  I’m just …ugh!  NOT ME!  I’m hoping venting will help put be back on track. 

 So…here goes.  One of the main reasons I’m off kilter today, was that I was really hoping for some good news today…that didn’t come.   We found a wonderful school we wanted to put our daughter into, but they have limited space.  18 spots…and 40 kids who want them.  So they draw names for the spots, and today was the day they were doing the draw.   And I spent all day walking around with the stupid phone, hoping they’d call. But they didn’t, so she wasn’t drawn.  Which woulnd’t be a huge issue, except this is the only school that I would be okay letting her go to … which means she’ll now have to be homeschooled…which isn’t the best thing for her, but the only other option.  Ugh.   And I was hoping SO MUCH to have her to this school!!!  I know the odds weren’t good, and all that, but I was hoping SO much!  And it’s such a huge dissapointment.  I tried not to hope too much because I was afraid this would happen…and now it has.  And I don’t want to frickin’ cry about it, and normally wouldn’t but this HAS to happen on the day TOM is here raging away at me.  URGH!!!  Normally, I’d find another course of action, but I can’t get past my dissapointment about this.  I wanted it too badly for it to actually happen.  Ugh.

 And for some reason there’s a ton of dumb idiots on the phone who, for some odd reason, don’t know I’m having a bad day already.  Is there really a reason why people would curse at me, when all I do is tell them I have to put them thru to customer service?  When I explain I can’t do anything, but CS could…why not just say, sure thanks…instead of calling me names, cursing at me, ranting at me and hanging up??  What good does that do them OR me???

And why do people have to be rude??  I DON’T GET IT!  That always makes me so mad, and normally I just bitch them out with cheerfulness, but today I’m just in tears constantly and I’m tired of it!!!

I hurt, I’m tired, I’m sad, and I just want to go curl up in bed and pull the covers over my head for a while.  But I have to work for another four hours.  UGH.  WHY CAN’T I BE MYSELF!?!

To anyone who actually read this piece of crap…my apologies.  

Tomorrow, no matter what the heck happens, I’m going back to being me.  This other person sucks wide. 

So TOM is back.  Raging, roaring, screaming back.  Didn’t he just leave two weeks ago??? What the heck??  I guess this is what I get for going off BC, eh?  And then…to top it off, I wake up, over tired, with a runny nose.  NOT A COLD!!  I don’t have time or energy to deal with THAT on top of it!  So I’m chugging water and gulping down some Cold FX by the handful in hopes of staving off the stupid cold.  (Those of you who haven’t heard of Cold FX this stuff is my miracle drug!  I don’t know HOW many colds I’ve avoided by using this stuff!… the trick is remembering to take it!LOL! Kinda like exercise…it only works if you remember to do it!) 

So, then I add on top of this…the new glasses I just got, which are giving me a headache, and I’m crampy, cold and tired.  Sounds like a day to curl up with a blanket, heating pad and pound of chocolate. 

 Oh wait.  No.  That’s not me anymore.  Insert sigh here.  Sometimes the old ways are just so comforting, eh?  Espeically in times of “need”. 

But no, not me.  Chai, repeat after me…that is not me.  That is not me.  That is not me. 

Some days, I find it takes a lot of energy to be optimistic, to not give in to the impulses that come so naturally…somes days it’s a constant battle, minute by minute to remember my goals and how I want to be so much better than I am.

 But it’s so worth the effort!  I feel so much better about myself when I do. 

 So instead of the couch and heating pad…I’m off for the treadmill!! Maybe moving around will push this cold thru my lymph system faster!! Maybe moving around will warm me up…get rid of the cramps…give me some energy so I’m not tired…hey..maybe exercise can be my new miracle drug!  LOL! 

Here’s to Wednesdays, colds, TOM, pain and the effort it takes to get thru all of them!

Okay, so I’m not the most agile person in the world.  Literally, if I don’t walk into a wall or two a day I wonder what’s happening.  And falling UP the stairs is routine for me!  LOL!  I have these weird little bruises all over my body and I can never remember where the heck they came from because I’m forever running into, falling into, triping over or stumbling into things…it’s just so hard to keep track! LOL! 

However, last night I took the cake for my ineptness.  I was working on the phone (for a pizza call center, for those of you who don’t know…talk about diet hell!)…and I’m doing my Tigger routine..aka…the rebounder or mini trampoline or whatever you call it in your world! LOL!  I find this is something fun I can do to get a bunch of exercise in while I’m taking orders on the phone.  Generally…I have no problems. 

Last night, however, I got a little enthusiastic in my routine…and of course graceful here can’t handle the overload of things going on!  One of my feet kinda collapsed and slipped…and I went down harder than a 200 year old redwood.  BOOM!  My head wacks the desk…and my hand hits the rebounder to catch myself.  Am I that graceful?  No…hand slips off the rebounder and I wack my head AGAIN on the keyboard tray as I fall even more.  Insert loud groan here.

And all of this…while I’m on a call!  Yes, ladies and gentlemen, you heard it, graceful me was creating human percusions while taking an order for pizza. 

While I’m trying to figure out if stars have recently become part of my underdesk decor, I hear “Hello? Hello?” in my ear and wonder why God’s sounding like a female.  Then I remember, I’m working.  Right.  It’s the headset talking, not the holy ghost.

So I pick myself up…shake my head a bit to rattle some of those stars out (which turn out NOT to be part of the decor after all)…and ask her if she wants fries with that. 

 LOL!  Only me, I tell ya, only me!  But…I picked myself up…and I kept going for another 30 mins!! (and no, she didn’t want fries with that.  Good for her!)

The moral of my longwinded story is…don’t let a little fall throw you off.  Get back up, get back in the game, and give it even more!!!  (and laugh a little…it burns calories too!)

Seriously…have you ever looked at those BMI tables and wondered…is this for me??  Are they REAL?  And then pondered just how insane the makers of these so called “indexes” are??

 I did.  I know it’s very cliche to say “I’m big boned”…but sadly, I truly am one of those people.  And short to boot (Yeah, thanks a lot God..not one but two curses?? Yeesh!)  Most womens wrists…on a large boned body are supposed to be around 5.5″…mine are 7.8″ (and that’s bone to bone, so it’s not because I’m fat! Unlike my hips..eek!).  My ankles?? Don’t even ask. 

So I look at this BMI of 100 lbs that I’m supposed to achieve to simply get out of the overweight category…and I’m thinking…I’m not sure I weighed that after I was 12 years old!  Is it realistic for me now that I have these massive things hanging on my sides and chest? (aka hips and boobs)  Is it real? For me?  No way!!!

 Which lead me to looking for an “alternative” measure.  And I found one!  It takes your ankle, wrist, leg length and height (instead of just my stinkin’ height)…and it gave me a totally reasonable number!!  155 lbs.  Now THAT sounds like it to me.  I weighed about 150 when I was 15 years old and doing track, karate and basketball.  So…155 sounds like a good normal weight for me to work towards!  Way more realistic.    Heck, I’d be happy to see 170!!! LOL!  I mean, I get a rockin’ leather coat if I hit 180….so anything after that is gravy!!

 It really makes me realize that we don’t have to accept what others tell us we should be, because they don’t know us like we know ourselves…we should really just try to be the best we can be!!

So here’s to not accepting the standard you, but creating a better you…for I will be a better me too!!!

So a new month is here…WELCOME FEBRUARY!!  The month has actually flown by so fast I didn’t even realise today was a new month until I signed into work and saw the date.  SHEESH! 

 Usually when a new month comes, I’m doing my “get back on the wagon” thing, because I started the month before and fell off…and waited weeks to try again.   Then I’d feel guilty and start again…and the cycle would continue.   Now that’s all changed!  The first month went by so fast, and it didn’t even seem hard??  I’m so positive and motivated and I can’t WAIT to see what happens this month!!!  No guilt is a wonderful thing!!

 As it’s a new month, I feel like I should have something else new.  Like a new self challenge now that I’ve made it thru the first month (which we all know is a challenge in itself! LOL!) 

But I don’t know what??  Any idears?  And brain farts?  ANYTHING??  LOL!  If I get nothing…I’ll come up with something asinine on Monday, just so I have a monthly goal to work towards…that way I can get the reward that always comes with reaching a goal! Hehehe… hey hubby…we’re going shopping!!!

Hope everyone has a great weekend, stay’s strong and positive and motivated!!!