Chai

-48….while I wished that refered the amount of weight I’ve lost (soon, baby, soon!), sadly it does not.  Even more sadly, it refers to the temperature outside right now.  I guess that’s what I get for living in Northern Canada, eh?  How FREAKING COLD IS THAT!?!  Wouldn’t be so bad if I could remain holed up here at home with the girls, as I usually do, but nope, can’t do that!  My crazy, insane, fruitcake of a husband had to go to work today…and since it’s too cold for him to take the car, I had suit up the girls for nuclear war fare, drag them out so I could drop him off at the train.  Which, actually, not so bad.  (I love winter and the cold (yes, I know I’m insane), but even this is a bit cold for me).  However, by doing this, I was able to INSANELY PROUD of myself!  So thank you, insane husband, for providing this wonderful growth opportunity to me!

I was tired, I was grumpy, I was cold…and I had my wallet and was out before 10 am.  What does this equal?  Well, about a month ago, it would have equalled a trip to McDonald’s and 2 too many bacon n’ eggers.  And I wanted that today…oooooh….I wanted it SOO bad I could literally TASTE it! 

But even though it would have been nearly a mandatory stop previous to my new lifestyle here…I said NO!  I remembered how great it felt when the scale went down, and how much more I’d enjoy that than an english muffin filled with fat.   How much longer I would feel good about having lost the weight, compared to how the crapload of cholesterol would feel sitting like a lead weight in my gut.   And even STILL it was hard…but I reigned in my weaker tendencies and gripped the steering wheel and did not turn into that house of horrors….

And I am so freaking happy I did that.  I’m so PROUD of myself, proud I have grown some will power (where the hell did that come from?!)…and that I didn’t jeopardize the hard work I’ve already done.  I got my high today, and it did NOT come from food!

And that feels better than any bacon n’ egger could EVER taste!

Here’s to EVERYONE finding something about themselves to be PROUD of!! 

So now I have less of the hip hip (damn things are finally getting smaller, hehe!) and WAY more of the hooray going on!!  Yes, it’s Sunday, and yes tomorrow is Monday, which totally used to depress me.  Blah Monday, blah blah blah.  HOWEVER…I’m ALWAYS freaking excited about Monday’s now, because Sunday’s are my one day off each week (from work, not diet or exercise LOL!) and I’m always a bit more of a slacker on Sunday than any day of the week.  And you’d think this would make me dread the coming Monday, and the return of heavy duty exercise…but it doesn’t!  I can’t WAIT! 

 NOW, even MORE than EVER!! 

 Why you might ask?? 

Because, this week, today, this morning, on my weigh in….I REACHED MY FIRST GOAL!!!!   If you can’t hear me laughing maniacally wherever you are, you might need a hearing aide!!  (just be grateful you don’t have to watch the painful victory dance!! LOL!)

 So NOW…I can’t wait to see even MORE results this week!!  I hope everyone had an AMAZING weekend, and I hope you’re all looking forward to Monday…at least a tiny bit as much as me!!

Totally oddness today.  I had to go out to buy some pants because I’d killed yet another pair of my yoga pants (a staple for someone who stays home with the kids all day and wants to pretend she hasn’t descened to wearing sweats on a daily basis yet)….So I do what I always do and pick up the nice XL pants…because I’ve never wanted to admit I actually need something bigger than that.. oh no!  Not me!  So I suck it up (or in rather) and wear my thankfully very stetchy yoga pants. 

When I go shopping I never try anything on…how depressing would that be?!?  I mean, I’m one of those weirdos who hates shopping anyway, but add trying on clothes too that?? And seeing myself  in those mirrors??  Under those lights?!  I’d probably try to fashion a noose with the pants in the dressing room! LOL!

 Anyway, so I’m shopping (insert moan here), and I do what I always do and just grab an XL and drop it in the cart as I fly past, trying to get out of the store as fast as my superhero powers will let me. 

 Then I get home..and what the holy hannah?!?  They don’t …fit??  They’re …HUGE??  What the freak is this??   This has never before happend to me…it’s always the opposite.  I get the crappy things home and they’re too small and they go in my pile of things to wear when I finally lose weight (c’mon now, you know you have one too!).  But being too .. big??  At first I’m in such shock I just can’t understand…can’t quite get what’s happened.  And then it clicks…I AM losing weight, yee hee!  So I do a little dance in my cramped bathroom, pants flopping madly about…  YA HOO!  Now I guess I”ll have to go raid that pile of things I’m supposed to wear once I’ve lost weight!  LOL!

 Here’s to finally seeing some results…not just in numbers but in life too!!

I don’t know what this means to the rest of you…but for me it means my husband will be home….and YAY! I get a day off!  It also means a struggle with my diet and exercise as I watch someone eat food that looks SO good…but isn’t for me anymore, and it means I have to really talk myself into exercise instead of having a much needed and wanted nap.  A lot of weekends…I struggle with maintaing myself.  Anyone else out there the same?  Monday to Friday…not so hard.  Saturday Sunday?  Lord Save us all!!!

This Friday however, I am totally motivated to NOT fall back into back habits and keep myself in grace instead.  A friend and I are challenging ourselves (thank you very much for issuing the challenge!) to not only keep going with the exercise thru the weekend, but to do 10% more.  Be it 10% harder or 10% longer….we’re going to do even better this weekend that we have this week…(and no, this is not a commercial for sex products!)

 And I challenge  each and every one of you to do the same!  Add some time on your workouts or reps to your weights and see how far you can go this weekend….and be sure to tell me about it come Monday because I’d love to know how everyone fared!!

 Here’s to a weekend of wonder workouts!!!

So you know how there are people out there, who have some sort of affinity for mechanical things?  And machines just seem to work right for them, and they can fix them and make them work even better and all that jazz?

Turns out…I am SO not one of those people!  Who’da thunk it?? LOL!    In fact, I qualify as entirely the opposite sort of person.  First my treadmill didn’t work right…so it sat there for years earning glares of resentment.  But hey, I had my eliptical so all was well.  Then, last week, my eliptical died.  I managed to “fix” it with some duct tape, but was very leery on using it (even I don’t trust the things I fix!).  So I finally managed to fix the treadmill so it ran, and I’ve been loving that.   Just waiting for -it- to die now.  

Bit of background here…see, I work from home in the evenings (I take pizza orders for a call center…can we say diet hell??  Talking about pizza and wings for 7 hours a day? Yeesh!)  ANYWAY!  While I’m working from home I’ve been using my stepper (at a pace that doesn’t leave me panting out orders of course, or people might think they accidentally dialed a 900 number or something!  LOL!).

 However…my stepper is now another victim of Chai’s mechanical dysfunction syndrome.  It started to squeal, like someone was killing a small animal or something (and that’s really not a sound you want to hear when you’re ordering food!)…so I couldn’t use it and had nothing to exercise with while working.  Which left me fuming…literally actually, after trying to fix it with WD40 (yeah, duct tape and WD40, obviously a woman here).  The resultant squeals were even louder (I’m THAT good at fixing things…I add oil and they get worse!)…and I was high on fumes.  (apparently you’re supposed to use this crap in a well ventilated area…but reading the can after use wasn’t much help!!!)

 But my wonderful hubby came to my rescue last night…and brought home one of those mini trampolines for me!!  (And thank you OODLES AND OODLES for putting it together…who thought it would be so difficult?  Obviously not Miss Mechanicially Dysfuntional here!  LOL! )

 Can anyone say FUN!?  Holey Crap!  Almost bounced myself into wall at one point (talk about an awkward call!) but otherwise it went great!!  And they’re not that expensive!!  I think these things should be mandatory for people trying to exercise because they’re so totally rocking!!  Wee-heeeee!  Add some weights to wrist and ankles and dance your heart out!! 

 So sorry for the hugely long winded ramble, but to get to the point of the day…I hope EVERYONE has as much fun with exercise today as I TOTALLY am going to!!!

 Cheers!! 

The Fat Files…they’re just as creepy, and as scary, and all out frigtening, and even somewhat sickening as the X-files.  I look at them and wonder if it came from another planet, or the depths of the sea…and I try to figure out what kind of malformed creature IS THIS?

 And then…it hits me.  Oh yeah.  That was me!  (was, was, was…never to be again…hip hip horay!)

 I have composed a file of all the pictures of me as a massive behemoth, although thankfully there are few, not sure I could stomach too many shots of  me like that (at least I had SOME presence of mind to dodge cameras, though moving quickly enough was always a challenge )  I have stuck these pictures into a file, stitting with all prominence in the middle of my desktop, and labelled it… THE FAT FILES!

 So when I get tired, or blah (which is rare for me these days, but does actually still happen!), I open it up, and take a gander at myself at my fattest, blubberiest, jiggliest self and just … refresh .. myself on why the heck I’m doing this and what I need to change.   And WOW does it work.  Who the hell wants to look like that?!?

I may only be down nearly 20 pounds of the 60,70 or 80 total I want to lose (hey that’s only 40,50 or 60 pounds more, woo hoo!), but I am making progress towards a better me…and it never hurts to see just how far I’ve already come, and what I’m NEVER going back to! 

 Here’s hoping for another great day!!  Aww heck…here’s to MAKING another great day!

Okay, so heads up, it’s a bit of gushy blog!  And it’s not about me, it’s about my hubby.  My wonderful wonderful hubby.  :)  The love of my life, and quite often my only source of sanity! I just wanted to take a minute to thank him, the wonderful guy, for being so supportive and loving (he reads my blogs, what  a sweetie!!)  He’s been so great since I’ve been trying to lose weight….all nearly five years!  LOL!

 And it got me to thinking, how hard is this for HIM?  I mean, he’s so great and he’s always telling me I’m beautiful and sexy, even when I feel like the cow that ate the barn, but he’s also cheering me on with my weightloss and telling me how proud he is.  But what a conundrum!  Have you ever wondered how a guy figures out just where to be on that very fine line?  Like, too much support and the woman thinks the man thinks she’s fat…and resentment builds.  Too little support and the woman thinks the man doesn’t care about her and what she’s going thru…and resentment builds.

 Makes me think…poor guy!  How does a man show the woman he loves that he supports her, and yet still loves her just the way she is??  Very tricky!!  Why are women so complicated?!? LOL!  We should really make it easier on the poor guys!!

 Well, I just want to thank my very agile hubby for managing, somehow, to walk that very fine line and show me his support and encouragement, and yet still make me feel totally loved and sexy! 

Here’s to another great day of exercise and food choices…so I can be a better me for me…and for him too!!

So I was playing “Super Hero” with my daughters, who are four and two years old, and we had our capes on and were “flying” madly about the house.  I said I was “Super Hero Mum!”  out to Incentify the world….and Brynnah, my four year old, comes back with “I’m Super Bitchin’ Hero!”  And I stopped so fast I almost fell over, and turned to her and said “Pardon ME?  You’re WHAT??”  She looked at me kinda confused and said, “I’m Super Bitchin’ Hero Mum…you know, I can see really good in the dark?”  I blinked.  A lot.  And then it came to me… Super VISION Hero! (from a child who can’t say “V” or “S” sometimes)  And then I laughed.  And laughed.  And laughed.  And then I got out the video camera and made her say it on tape, cape and all….just for prosperity you know….hehehe….can’t wait to show THAT in twenty years at her wedding!

So I had quite the laugh this morning, and figured I should share incase any of you also needed a pick me up on your Monday morning like me!  Here’s to another great day filled with fun and..of course….exercise!  (running around counts as exercise…even if it’s done with a cape!)

If I were a super-hero, that would be my call.  Da-da-da DUM….INCENTIFY!  Yes, I’m am -totally- aware that it’s not a real word…but it SHOULD be!  Incentify- To provide incentive for.  I think I will be my own Superhero, and I shall INCENTIFY THE WORLD…starting with my life! 

 Stepping on the scale…incentifies me.  Thinking of buying new clothes…incentifies me.  So I’m making a new word!  C’mon, if “bling-bling” can be added to the dictionary (and how dumb is that??)… this should be added too!  Maybe if we incetified ourselves a bit more, we’d worry less about bling bling.  Haha.  ANYWAY!

 My husband has “incentified” me by telling me he’s taking me away for our anniversary in May!  Yee-hee! So I am totally “incentified” to lose weight so I can enjoy our tours around Banff (our destination) instead of being out of breath and wanting to sit down because I’m tired.  I am so totally stoked about this!! 

Here’s to incentifying life a little!!

So when I was younger, I used get really red in the face when I exercised…and they used to call me Chai the Tomato (all in good fun…in fact I think I may have started it myself :).  These days…I hit red about ten mins into a workout…and move on to bluey red…and end up somewhere around eggplant purple….I look in the mirror after a workout and end up laughing so hard its a workout in itself!  I don’t even look HUMAN!  I’m like an eggplant alien or something!

 Seriously…am I the only one who does this?  Gets red…or more… when working out?? (I think it has something to do with the fact that I don’t sweat on my face, at any place at any point…but that’s just a guess)  I would be concerned except I keep my heartrate  always within target and I’ve always been this way…so I’m not concerned at all.  I just find it hysterically funny.  I’m wondering if it’ll ever change…and half hoping it doesn’t!